i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
