I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Are these your boobs on my camera?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
