I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
