I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
