Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
