I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
