ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
