so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
