actually, I'm a sock model
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
