Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
