yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
