This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
worst night to have a conscience
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
