that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
