she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
