I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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