If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize