you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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