That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Randomize
