I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize