I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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