I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I can't turn off my feet"
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
