Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
