so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
soo... how was my night?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
