i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize
