It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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