dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
