how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
it glows. i had to have it.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
