No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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