The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
