I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
