perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize