I'm sorry my penis didn't work
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
