3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
