omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Someone came in the potted fern
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize