I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
How's work?
Spinning.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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