exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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