If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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