My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
