with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
