I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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