Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
