why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
