Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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