ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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