so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
