after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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