Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
