It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
