I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
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