u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
