piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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