I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
