people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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