Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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