didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Randomize
