i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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