dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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