Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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