i always forget guys have bellybuttons
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
