Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I looked at my own cervix.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
