I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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