bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
ttyl tear gas
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
