saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
how does that bad decision feel?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize